Don't you love me and mom anymore? »Questions that children want but are afraid to ask their parents

"Why did our family break up?", "Am I a welcome child?", "Are you sure that you raised me correctly?" - children have a lot of uncomfortable questions to their parents. On the anonymous Q&A platform ASKfm, teens shared some of them, and we asked a family psychologist to comment on these topics.

Divorce

Parental divorce is one of the most traumatic events in a child's life. More often than not, the news of a divorce takes children by surprise and forever changes the rhythm of their lives.

Some parents try to hide the reasons for divorce from their children in order to protect the child. Unfortunately, children sometimes take it personally and begin to think that it is they who are to blame for what happened. Other children witness conflicts between parents, which forever affect their understanding of marriage and relationships.

Anyway, it is very important to talk to your child about divorce and remind him that it is not his fault and that his parents will never leave him.

Olga Propubertat, family psychologist:

It is customary to say that people do not change. But I fundamentally disagree with this. We are all constantly gaining new knowledge about ourselves and about the world. And this development takes place constantly in each of us. Divorce is a moment when a man and a woman have changed so much that they were out of the way.

And it's not that they stopped loving each other. And the fact that each of them wants to live his life. Yes, mom and dad are no longer husband and wife. But they haven't stopped being your mom and dad; if parents do not live with their children, they still remain their parents. So even after the break, the relationship between fathers and children often improves. Do not take away this opportunity from dads or moms who live separately, even if it is difficult for them to call and come right now. Nobody teaches us to be parents, which is a pity.

Parenting

Many teenagers are very interested in what it is like to be a parent. They do not know how their mom and dad feel, what their thoughts or feelings are. But it is the worry about children that often translates into screams and conflicts. Before lashing out at your child for not listening to you, try to calmly describe your feelings and worries to him. It may be obvious to you that your excitement is a sign of love and care. And children may not yet understand this, so talking directly to them about your feelings is the best way out.

Olga Propubertat, family psychologist:

No matter how parents prepare for the birth of a child, it is always very unexpected. The mere news that a child will soon appear in their lives imposes a huge responsibility on people. And when the baby is born, the parents begin their journey through the minefield. The older the child, the more routes, less strength and more difficult the choice. And after the parents with the last bit of strength cooked cutlets, and the child asks for sausages, and the very breakdowns happen.

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