Although my mother, after the death of her father, failed with her first roommate, she did not give up. it was understandable. A young woman in her prime in a hopeless village alone with two children. She was hard-working and economical. Ama baked bread in the oven for many years, she could do a lot of things. When we passed Nekrasov at school and learned by heart "There are women in Russian villages." - I immediately remembered our mother. It's about her. Yes, and I saw how the men of our village looked at her with admiration. And it's not even a matter of appearance.
After my mother was left alone again, she began to go to the cinema in the evenings. A bright carrot-colored lipstick appeared in the house. I don’t know if my mother actually went to the movies. But she began an affair with a widowed neighbor who lived next to his mother and two almost adult children. We even had a common fence and vegetable gardens nearby. These neighbors were the former owners of our house. Therefore, a narrow path connected our houses. We also used one pool, to which we brought drinking water. We carried water from the pool along this path.
For young people, I explain that at that time the pools in rural yards looked like wells, concreted from the inside and were not intended for swimming, but exclusively for drinking water at a time when there were no columns on every corner.
Once, my sister and I were dragging water on rocker arms from the column from the age of 12.
And at the time this story happened, I was six years old, and my sister was nine. Ama locked us up and left. We were not afraid.
Late in the evening, Uncle Zhora knocked on the window of the room where we slept and asked: "Is mother at home?" - "No! She went to the cinema!" - my sister and I shouted in chorus.
Once my sister and I stayed on a summer evening at the hospitable relatives of our father. Aunt and grandmother's courtyards were across the street from each other, but far from us. although mom didn’t like that we came there, she couldn’t do anything about it. And our relatives welcomed us as best they could. “Was it smeared with honey there, or what?” Mom grumbled displeased. And we received love there, which we so lacked in our own home.
That evening we sat too long, it was already getting dark. Mom came for us. Father's relatives did not dislike our mother. In any case, I have never heard a single bad word addressed to her. But she disliked them. hospitable hosts were in no hurry to let us leave their home. They persuaded my mother to sit in the summer kitchen for a while.
We sat and ate seeds. The conversation turned to the fact that my mother goes to the cinema. - Are you not afraid to be alone? - asked the husband's aunt. - No. - Well, that's right! Why be afraid? Lie down and sleep. then I gave out: - Yes, you will fall asleep here when Uncle Zhora knocks on the window and knocks.
Relatives struggled to restrain laughter, and an angry mother jumped up from her seat and, with all her remarkable strength, slapped me with a resounding slap in the face. t of surprises and resentments, the desire to gnaw seeds disappeared completely, and an irresistible desire to roar in my voice appeared, but I did not do it. I was afraid it would only get worse. I realized that I blurted out something wrong and just curled my lips in an attempt not to burst into tears. My cheek was burning and tears treacherously streamed down my face and I was not able to stop them.
We have already talked about what the "chemistry" of negative states is. What changes does the brain undergo and especially noted that the brain is structured the same for everyone. The only difference is in the balance of neurotransmitters, which are responsible for the onset and duration of depression / negative states. Read here: About depression in simple words. Where does it come from and TEST = Do you have signs of depression?
In Part 1, I described the importance of physical activity. Let me emphasize that it is activity, not sport. Read here: Treatment of Depression / Exit from Negative States. h1. Physical activity
----> IT IS IMPORTANT TO SET GOALS AND MAKE DECISIONS
The main problem of people in depression and negative states is this: there is no joy in life.
If you set a goal and achieve it, you will get significantly more pleasure and release of the corresponding hormones than you get it by accident.
That is, if you want to eat ice cream. Set a goal, go to the store, buy it and eat it at a hormonal level, you will get more pleasure, they will buy it for weeks and bring it to bed. And this applies to everything. From planning to brush your teeth and washing dishes to large and complex tasks.
If you force yourself to get out of bed, you will get more pleasure than having breakfast brought to bed.
----> SETTING GOALS INCREASES DOPAMINE PRODUCTION
People usually show their best qualities by working towards a long-term, important and achievable goal.
This isn't just because dopamine is released in the brain when a long-term goal is achieved. This hormone is formed at every step of the way to the cherished stimulus. With a meaningful goal in place, the prefrontal cortex can more effectively organize actions.
----> SET SPECIFIC LONG-TERM GOALS