6 things you shouldn't say to a young father

It is easier and more pleasant for a father to participate in the creation of a new life than for a mother. But in caring for a child and his upbringing, parents may well be on an equal footing, although in practice this is a rarity. The newly-made dad either withdraws himself from worries about the baby, not understanding how he can be useful, or retreats under a hail of advice and comments that “seasoned” friends, relatives, and sometimes his own wife kindly fall asleep on him. We will begin this review with phrases that should not be spoken about a young father to his wife:

- Myself!

A young mother wants to protect her baby from everyone and everything. In the postpartum surge in hormones, driven by the awakened maternal instinct, she sincerely believes that only she knows how to handle the baby. It is easier for her to do everything herself than to explain to her husband, how and how he can help. If the young dad hears from his wife when he offers to bathe, change clothes, go for a walk with the child: “Don't, I’m on my own,” he will very soon understand that he is not entering his territory and will give up these attempts.

- Can't you see?

Mom is sensitive to the slightest changes in the state and behavior of the child. Dad is less attentive and less anxious. No, he didn't want the baby to lie in a dirty diaper and with cold feet. He cares that the child has crawled to the very edge of the bed and can fall from there. He did not intentionally remove the phone from the charger and did not pull it out of the socket. He really just didn't know where to look to see the danger to the child. Instead of lashing out with reproaches, explain where the mess is and how to deal with it next time. Instead of: "Can't you see that he has a wet diaper ?!" - “The kid whimpers and often wakes up due to being wet, uncomfortable. See - the diaper is swollen and the indicator strip turns blue? Need to change. ”

- You can't

Another variation that reliably discourages a young father from helping his wife. He probably himself is worried that he will not cope. And if his lack of self-confidence is backed up by your distrust, he will not even try. Meanwhile, you cannot acquire a skill without practice. You, too, did not immediately learn how to properly take the baby in your arms, change clothes, dilute the mixture or sterilize the bottles. There is nothing that a young father cannot handle if you can do it. Although no, she will not breastfeed. This will definitely not be able to.

- Not a man's business

If a young mother avoided mistakes and did not discourage her husband from messing with the baby and helping her with household chores, others can make a demotivating contribution. Daddy walks with a stroller? Does he get up at night to shake the baby? Did you wash the dishes or, God forgive me, the floor, while your wife was breastfeeding and dozing with her baby?

- You spoil her! This is not a man's business! - someone from the inner circle will be genuinely indignant, and it will not necessarily be the most brutal representative of the stronger sex, rather a fragile (or not so) lady from the category of those who are “myself!”.

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