How to find a partner in adulthood

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You are an adult who, for various reasons, found yourself without a pair, but longing for warmth and love. You are thinking about how to get to know each other "for a serious relationship." A long list of "buts" immediately pops into my head. Is it possible to attract someone at my age? Where do those over 40 meet? Let's figure it out together with the experts.

Indeed, we are at 30 and deeply for. »We are very different from ourselves as 18-year-olds, sometimes wondering: is it really me in this photo? How easy it was for us then to walk up to an unfamiliar girl on the street and take her phone number ... It was not scary to hear a refusal. Just think - over there, in a couple of meters, another pretty one is walking. And now ...

How to meet love and create a relationship when half of your life is already behind you? And what has changed in us?

Mismatch of needs

“In adolescence, it’s natural to look for a partner, fall in love, lose your head. This is the time when a person is looking for a suitable match for himself. Hormones play, blood boils. To meet a young kissing couple on the street is a common thing. Building relationships is even a natural challenge. In adulthood, the goals, it would seem, are completely different: to build a house, learn news about the first job from children, find time for their own interests, go to the bathhouse, read a book. Instead of wandering around the clubs and looking at the Tinder for someone to go on a date with. It is more difficult for adults to admit to themselves that they also need love, passion, flirting, ”explains clinical psychologist Irina Gross.

Add the fear of being sexually unattractive: well, let's be honest - did everyone manage to keep the figure in its original youthful form to gray hair?

“And doubts begin to creep in: yes, I'm already old! Who needs me when there are so many young people who are "not attached"! And the terrifying pictures of lonely old age begin to spin before our eyes like a merry-go-round. "

Partner Requirements

“When we are young, we usually expect princes and princesses. It seems to us that the whole fate depends on what kind of partner will be. Therefore, we want and demand a lot from the chosen ones. In maturity, illusions are destroyed, we understand that life is like this, no prince can save you from pits, sharp turns, everyday life and other not the most joyful and simple aspects of life, ”the psychologist continues.

And we're lowering the bar. Not in order to get "at least a piece of wool", but because wisdom is a bonus of age. We understand, having filled the bumps, that there is a basic configuration, which is necessary first of all, the rest is optional tuning. Let him be a good person, let him take care, and the rest is not so important. Or something else, but most importantly, key, such that it is stronger than the foundation.

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How to find a partner in adulthood

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