Crossroads – Should I Stay or Should I Go?

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Hey everyone, hope your weekend has been great so far. What’s everyone been up to? I’ve been having a very chilled weekend, watching old episodes of Dr Quinn Medicine Woman, stuffing my face with my favourite chocolate from Finland, and thinking about where I am right now in my life and what the future holds now that my two year relationship has ended. Is anyone else the same? Do you ever just have those days where you sit and reflect and feel as though you’ve hit a major crossroad in your life and depending on which direction you take, you could end up with x, y, or z, for your future. And some or all of those paths scare the crap out of you?

Realisation… thanks to Jane Seymour

You know those books you read or movies you watch and there’s a defining moment in them that resonates with your soul, and you just never forget them no matter how old you get or where you are in life. Well, this happened to me over ten years ago when I read Jane Seymours book Remarkable Changes. I connected with her words more than I ever thought I would and from that moment, I’ve carried them with me like a little voice in the back in my head, reassuring me that no matter what, life will always work out exactly how it’s meant to. Mistakes, heartache, triumphs and all, because it’s shaping me into the person I was destined to become.

Like Jane, I feel there comes a point in life, or many for that matter, when you reach a crossroads. Some may be smaller than others, but each is a turning point, a defining moment in our lives, shaping who we are and where we’re ultimately going. I’ve come to realise that I may not know in a weeks time, a months time, or even a year, why certain things in life happen, but eventually it’ll all make sense.

Reflecting… understanding why certain events in my life happened

Take for instance the time my friend pulled out of our Contiki trip of Europe. I was 19, had never been overseas before and here I was at a crossroads. She was my safety net. The one familiar thing I would have, whilst surround by a whole lot of unfamiliar. So what was I to do? Pull out and wait until she could go, or take a leap and go solo? Well, I mustered up the courage and decided to go solo. Not only did my decision ignite my passion for travel (fast forward years later and here I am travelling the world, living abroad, with my own travel blog), but I also met a guy.

Thinking back on it now, if she hadn’t pulled out, I would have always sat next to her on the bus, I would have shared a room with her etc., and I would have never found my inner confidence that I did. The confidence that pushed me to interact with strangers and realise I was great at forming new friendships and interacting in various social settings, and it also made me realise I was able to do things I never thought possible. Like rely on myself to navigate around a foreign city.

Fast forward a year later, and I was faced with another crossroad. That I guy I met, I now had to make the decision to either leave my family and start a new life with this guy in a brand new state, or give up the guy and stick with what I knew. I decided to move. Because, I believe you can’t ever move forward without taking some sort of risk. After a few years, the relationship didn’t work out, BUT moving was one of the best decisions I ever made.

At first I was upset. Upset and angry at myself for getting trapped in a relationship for so long with someone who wasn’t good for me. Thinking I should have never left home for this guy in the first place and regretting my decision. It wasn’t until two years later, when I had my own apartment, established my career path, made lifelong friends and became a strong independent women, that I realised, all of that wouldn’t have happened without  that relationship. The ups and downs and the journey I took with that relationship was absolutely necessary in shaping the woman I am today, even if I didn’t see it at the time.

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Life isn’t a straight road… crossroads are inevitable

The paths we choose aren’t always going to be easy. I’m living proof that they’re not. But by facing every crossroad head on, trusting that whatever decision we choose is always going to be the right one, is all we can do. I’ve come to learn that whether I choose path a or path b, my decision will always be the right one.

The spiritual side of me believes our individual destinies are already mapped out for us, we may divert a few times, but the universe will always guide us back to where we’re meant to be, one way or another.

My Current Crossroad… decisions, decisions

Just when I thought everything was set in stone for me, the universe has demonstrated that life is, well, unpredictable. My most recent relationship has come to an end, and after quitting my job (as we’d planned on spending our summer together in Greece), I now find myself jobless and on the other side of the world to my family and friends. The way I see it, I have two options. Go home back to Australia and start over, or ride this emotional roller coaster, build myself back up and continue my travels solo.

At 31 years old, my age indicates to many where I should be in life right now. Married with kids or at least headed in that direction, settled in a job and saving to buy a house. But in a sense, I’ve always been one to “rebel” against conformity to society. I mean, who made those “idealistic” life goals and timeframes anyway? We’ve got one life to live (unless reincarnation is real) so why not make the most of it. At the beginning of this post I was unsure which way I should go, but after sharing my thoughts with you all, it’s clear to me which path I should take. I’m going to stay abroad, take the leap to travel solo, and see where life takes me.

My life’s journey so far has shaped who I am today, so I know this next chapter will only make me stronger and more of the woman I’m meant to be. Living my life, every challenge, every setback, every opportunity, every triumph, and every person that comes into my life and everyone that leaves, just knowing and reminding myself that these are all touch points in my journey to where I’m eventually meant to end up, is how I know I’m making the right decision.

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My Advice… drawing from personal experience

Whatever crossroad you come upon in life, whether it’s university related, career related, family or love, my philosophy is, try not to see it as one decision is right and the other is wrong. See it as an opportunity. That whichever way you decide to go, it’s merely an opening for something else. Always follow your heart and don’t make decisions based on what you think you should do, or what you think others would want you to do. Only you know what’s ultimately best for your heart and soul.

 

17 thoughts on “Crossroads – Should I Stay or Should I Go?

  1. momentsoftreasures says:

    Great post! I think so many travellers can relate to being constantly at a cross roads and not sure what decisions to make!

    Like

  2. Veronica (@veyroniqa) says:

    I actually believe that “everything happens for a reason”, like, you won’t be able to move on to greater things had you not faced a particular challenge.

    I wish you all the best and that great things happen to you soon ❤

    Like

    • Nerissa Templin says:

      Thanks. I always live my life to the fullest because I don’t want to be 70 years old and wish I had of done this or that. And every decision I make now, every adventure I go on, etc., is shaping who I am as a person and I couldn’t be happier! If you always follow your heart then you can’t go wrong 🙂

      Like

  3. Chloe's Travelogue says:

    Seems like you are in a tough spot but figured out what you gotta do. The challenges we face in life might come in many different shapes and forms, but we’ve all been there. So I hear ya. Best of luck & Cheers!

    Like

  4. Carly | FearlessFemaleTravels.com says:

    Have you ever thought about finding an employer who offers sabbaticals? I have a great vacation policy at work (twelve weeks per year) but my employer also allows us to take six months off every three years, or one year off every five years, and have our jobs guaranteed upon our return. I love this model, because I have great job security and a pension plan, but I can also travel for extended periods of time.

    Like

    • Nerissa Templin says:

      For me, I can’t sit still long enough. I’m wanting to travel constantly and the work I’m doing now is all that I need financially. But what you’re saying may absolutely be something that someone else would benefit from. What country are you in?

      Like

  5. Paige Pines (@lightedpen) says:

    This happened to me exactly 10 years ago. I was unsure if I should leave my country, Philippines, and come to NY to be with my family. I left nursing school and my boyfriend then. Looking back, thankfully the things that happened, happened. If not for that big change in my life, I wouldn’t come to NY and meet my husband.

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    • Nerissa Templin says:

      Yes! Everything happens for a reason, whether we realise it at the time or not. You took a huge risk but it all worked out exactly how it should have. So brave of you to take that leap 10 years ago, I’m happy it all worked out!

      Like

  6. michellebry says:

    I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS! All of these thoughts run through my head every day and you’ve written this perfectly. Of course, Im afraid to have to re-build my life but Id so much rather hve that fear while I roam and see the world than to have a settled down life and never see whats out there!

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    • Nerissa Templin says:

      Thank you!! I think there’s so many women out there in the same position, and as scary as it is sometimes, I’m a true believer that we should live with no regrets and not let anything or anyone hold us back from what we’re passionate about. I have just completed two solo trips and am re building my life and honestly, it’s not as scary or difficult as I first thought.

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