Crossroads: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

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Considering a career change, or giving an ex a second chance? Deciding where to go to university, or to go at all? Whatever it is, there’s no wrong answer, because everything in life happens exactly the way it’s meant to. Well, at least that’s what I believe.

Now, I’m not one to preach, but I do feel there comes a point in life, or many for that matter, when you reach a crossroads. Some may be smaller than others, but each is a turning point, a defining moment in our lives, shaping who we are and where we’re ultimately going. I’ve come to realise that I may not know in a weeks time, a month, or even a year, why certain things in life happen, but eventually it all makes sense.

Take for instance the time my friend pulled out of our Europe trip. I was 19, had never been overseas before and here I was at a crossroads. She was my safety net, so do I pull out as well or do I go? I mustered up the courage and decided to go. Not only did my decision ignite my passion for travel (fast forward a few years and here I am travelling the world with my own blog), but I also met a guy.

Fast forward a year later, and I was faced with another crossroads. Do I move to be with this guy or do I give him up? My decision was to move. You can’t move forward without some risk taking I always say. After a few years, the relationship didn’t work out, BUT moving was one of the best decisions I ever made.

At first I was upset. Upset at myself for getting trapped in a relationship with someone who cared more about themselves than me. I was confused. Thinking I did everything right, so why was this happening to me. It wasn’t until two years later, when I had moved into my own apartment, established my career, made lifelong friends and became a strong independent women, that I realised, that all of that wouldn’t have happened, if I had stayed in that relationship.

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The paths we choose aren’t always going to be easy. I’m living proof that they’re not. But by facing every crossroad head on, trusting that whatever decision we choose is always going to be the right one, living our lives, every challenge, every setback, every opportunity, and embracing every person that comes into our lives and everyone that leaves, knowing that these are all touch points in our journey to where we’re eventually  meant to end up, is how we know we’re exactly where we’re meant to be.

Recently, a change has occurred in my life and I find myself yet again at another crossroads. Just when I thought everything was panned out for me, the universe has demonstrated that life is, well, unpredictable. My most recent relationship has come to an end, and after quitting my job (as we’d planned on spending our summer together in Greece), I find myself jobless and on the other side of the world. The crossroad I’m facing, has two options. Go home back to Australia and feel sorry for myself, or ride this emotional roller coaster, build myself back up and continue my travels solo.

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So what’s my decision? At 31 years of age, my family believe that since I’m no longer in my twenties, I should return home, buy a house and settle down. But in my opinion, and from this you can probably guess which option I’m choosing, there’s no time frame on being whoever you want to be and living the life you’ve always dreamed of. I love travel and there’s so much of the world I still want to see. I want to wake up to breathtaking views, take baking classes around the world, volunteer, go on an African safari, my list is endless. This is the toughest crossroad I’ve faced to date, and am I scared to re build my life again? Absolutely. But without embracing life’s uncertainties, and facing my fears head on, I’ll never be able to live my life to its fullest.

I could sit here all day and cry about being heartbroken, indulging in chocolate brownies and watching re runs of sex and the city (okay, I totally did that post breakup), but at the end of the day, I’m responsible for my happiness, not someone else.

Do I regret the paths I took, now that I’m 31 and single. Absolutely not. My entire life’s journey thus far, have helped shape who I am today. And I love the woman I’ve become.

So whatever crossroad you come upon in life, university related, career related, family or love, my philosophy is, try not to see it as one decision is right and the other is wrong. See it as an opportunity. That whichever way you decide to go, it’s merely an opening for something else. Always follow your heart and don’t make decisions based on what you ‘think’ you should do, or what you ‘think’ others would want you to do. Only you know what’s ultimately best for your heart and soul.

 

17 thoughts on “Crossroads: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

  1. momentsoftreasures says:

    Great post! I think so many travellers can relate to being constantly at a cross roads and not sure what decisions to make!

    Like

  2. Veronica (@veyroniqa) says:

    I actually believe that “everything happens for a reason”, like, you won’t be able to move on to greater things had you not faced a particular challenge.

    I wish you all the best and that great things happen to you soon ❤

    Like

    • Nerissa Templin says:

      Thanks. I always live my life to the fullest because I don’t want to be 70 years old and wish I had of done this or that. And every decision I make now, every adventure I go on, etc., is shaping who I am as a person and I couldn’t be happier! If you always follow your heart then you can’t go wrong 🙂

      Like

  3. Chloe's Travelogue says:

    Seems like you are in a tough spot but figured out what you gotta do. The challenges we face in life might come in many different shapes and forms, but we’ve all been there. So I hear ya. Best of luck & Cheers!

    Like

  4. Carly | FearlessFemaleTravels.com says:

    Have you ever thought about finding an employer who offers sabbaticals? I have a great vacation policy at work (twelve weeks per year) but my employer also allows us to take six months off every three years, or one year off every five years, and have our jobs guaranteed upon our return. I love this model, because I have great job security and a pension plan, but I can also travel for extended periods of time.

    Like

    • Nerissa Templin says:

      For me, I can’t sit still long enough. I’m wanting to travel constantly and the work I’m doing now is all that I need financially. But what you’re saying may absolutely be something that someone else would benefit from. What country are you in?

      Like

  5. Paige Pines (@lightedpen) says:

    This happened to me exactly 10 years ago. I was unsure if I should leave my country, Philippines, and come to NY to be with my family. I left nursing school and my boyfriend then. Looking back, thankfully the things that happened, happened. If not for that big change in my life, I wouldn’t come to NY and meet my husband.

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    • Nerissa Templin says:

      Yes! Everything happens for a reason, whether we realise it at the time or not. You took a huge risk but it all worked out exactly how it should have. So brave of you to take that leap 10 years ago, I’m happy it all worked out!

      Like

  6. michellebry says:

    I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS! All of these thoughts run through my head every day and you’ve written this perfectly. Of course, Im afraid to have to re-build my life but Id so much rather hve that fear while I roam and see the world than to have a settled down life and never see whats out there!

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    • Nerissa Templin says:

      Thank you!! I think there’s so many women out there in the same position, and as scary as it is sometimes, I’m a true believer that we should live with no regrets and not let anything or anyone hold us back from what we’re passionate about. I have just completed two solo trips and am re building my life and honestly, it’s not as scary or difficult as I first thought.

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