Crossroads: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

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Deciding where to go to university, or to go at all? Maybe considering a career change, or giving an ex a second chance? Whatever it is, there’s no wrong answer, because everything in life happens exactly the way it’s meant to. Well, at least that’s what I believe.

Now, I’m not one to preach, but I do feel there comes a point in life, or many for that matter, when you reach a crossroads. Some may be smaller than others, but each is a turning point, shaping who we are and where we’re ultimately going. I’ve come to realise that I may not know in a weeks time, a month, or even a year, why certain things in life happen, but eventually it all makes sense.

Take for instance the time my friend pulled out of our Europe trip. I was 19, had never been overseas before and here I was at a crossroad. Do I pull out as well or do I go?  My decision was to go and not only did it ignite my passion for travel (fast forward a few years and here I am travelling the world with my own blog), but I also met a guy who just so happened to be from Australia.

Upon my return home and a year or so later, I was faced with another crossroad. Do I move to the part of Australia where this guy is from (we were in a long distance relationship) or give up the guy? Well, I took a risk and moved. After a few years, the relationship didn’t work out, BUT moving to that part of Australia was one of the best decisions I ever made.

After the relationship ended, I was lost. Upset at myself for getting trapped in a relationship with someone who cared more about themselves than me, whilst I constantly tried to meet their expectations. I was confused. It wasn’t until two years later, when I had established my passion for the charity sector, made lifelong friends, became a strong independent women, that I met someone else and it all made perfect sense why each crossroad I previously faced, each path I took, had lead me to that point in my life, to this guy, and it was exactly where I was meant to be.

Now I’m not saying that the paths we choose are going to be easy. I’m living proof that they’re not. But what I DO know, is that I’m living my life, and every challenge, every setback, every opportunity, every person that comes into my life and everyone that leaves, are all touch points to where I’m eventually meant to end up.

Recently, a change has occurred in my life and I find myself faced, yet again with another crossroad. Just when I thought everything was panned out for me, the universe has demonstrated that life is unpredictable. The guy I met and fell in love with, well he ended things. His focus had shifted to setting up a business and he decided he wanted to focus on his work without any distractions. Aka without a girlfriend.

Having recently quit my job as we’d planned on spending our summer in Greece together, I found myself at a crossroads. Jobless and soon to be homeless, I had two options. Go home back to Australia and feel sorry for myself OR I can be that strong independent woman I know I am, ride this emotional roller coaster, build myself back up a day at a time and go after my dreams.

At 31 years old, my family believe that my age plays a factor in what I do. My dad a strong believer in me returning home, finding a job and settling down. But in my opinion, and from this you can probably guess which option I’m choosing, there’s no time limit to being whoever you want to be and living the life you’ve always dreamed of. There are no rules, despite what you may hear. I love travel and there’s so much of the world I still want to see. I want to wake up to breathtaking views, take baking classes around the world, volunteer, go on an African safari, my list is endless.

Am I scared to re build my life over again? Absolutely. But without embracing life’s uncertainties, I’ll never be able to live my life to its fullest. I could sit here and cry about being heartbroken, eating chocolate brownies and watching sex and the city – which I’ll admit post breakup I did – but at the end of the day, I’m responsible for my happiness, not someone else. And it’s just one more crossroad in a long wonderful life right? Do I regret the paths I took, now that I’m single. Absolutely not. I had the most incredible journeys with my ex, and they’ve helped shape who I am today.

So whatever crossroad you come upon in life – university related, career related, family or love -my philosophy is, try not to see it as a huge ordeal, that one decision is right and the other is wrong. See it as an opportunity, that whichever way you chose to go, its just an opening for something else. Always follow your heart and don’t make decisions based on what you ‘think’ you should do, or what you ‘think’ others would want you to do. Only you know what’s ultimately best for your heart and soul.

 

17 thoughts on “Crossroads: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

  1. momentsoftreasures says:

    Great post! I think so many travellers can relate to being constantly at a cross roads and not sure what decisions to make!

    Like

  2. Veronica (@veyroniqa) says:

    I actually believe that “everything happens for a reason”, like, you won’t be able to move on to greater things had you not faced a particular challenge.

    I wish you all the best and that great things happen to you soon ❤

    Like

    • Nerissa Templin says:

      Thanks. I always live my life to the fullest because I don’t want to be 70 years old and wish I had of done this or that. And every decision I make now, every adventure I go on, etc., is shaping who I am as a person and I couldn’t be happier! If you always follow your heart then you can’t go wrong 🙂

      Like

  3. Chloe's Travelogue says:

    Seems like you are in a tough spot but figured out what you gotta do. The challenges we face in life might come in many different shapes and forms, but we’ve all been there. So I hear ya. Best of luck & Cheers!

    Like

  4. Carly | FearlessFemaleTravels.com says:

    Have you ever thought about finding an employer who offers sabbaticals? I have a great vacation policy at work (twelve weeks per year) but my employer also allows us to take six months off every three years, or one year off every five years, and have our jobs guaranteed upon our return. I love this model, because I have great job security and a pension plan, but I can also travel for extended periods of time.

    Like

    • Nerissa Templin says:

      For me, I can’t sit still long enough. I’m wanting to travel constantly and the work I’m doing now is all that I need financially. But what you’re saying may absolutely be something that someone else would benefit from. What country are you in?

      Like

  5. Paige Pines (@lightedpen) says:

    This happened to me exactly 10 years ago. I was unsure if I should leave my country, Philippines, and come to NY to be with my family. I left nursing school and my boyfriend then. Looking back, thankfully the things that happened, happened. If not for that big change in my life, I wouldn’t come to NY and meet my husband.

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    • Nerissa Templin says:

      Yes! Everything happens for a reason, whether we realise it at the time or not. You took a huge risk but it all worked out exactly how it should have. So brave of you to take that leap 10 years ago, I’m happy it all worked out!

      Like

  6. michellebry says:

    I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS! All of these thoughts run through my head every day and you’ve written this perfectly. Of course, Im afraid to have to re-build my life but Id so much rather hve that fear while I roam and see the world than to have a settled down life and never see whats out there!

    Like

    • Nerissa Templin says:

      Thank you!! I think there’s so many women out there in the same position, and as scary as it is sometimes, I’m a true believer that we should live with no regrets and not let anything or anyone hold us back from what we’re passionate about. I have just completed two solo trips and am re building my life and honestly, it’s not as scary or difficult as I first thought.

      Like

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